Infinite list of TV characters that I adore: Matt Saracen
I gotta get up there in front of everybody and say good stuff about this man. And all I really want to say is ‘Here lies Henry Saracen, his mother annoyed him, his wife couldn’t stand him and he didn’t want to be a dad so he took off to be in the army because that’s the only way he could come up with to get out of here and ditch all your responsibilities and no one could call you out on it and that worked out great so you just decided to enlist four more times and that ended up getting you killed and now here you are. And all you left behind is a mother with dementia, a divorced wife and a son that delivers pizza. Thank you for coming 100 people I do not know.’ You know what the worst part is? Even if I did get up and say all that I don’t even know if I’m saying it to him because I don’t know what’s in that damn box. It’s a closed casket— might be someone else, someone funnier or a bunch of rocks.